Be Yourself

Say “Yes” To What YOU Want

 What a dilemma!

I must learn to say “no” but yet I have to say “yes” to what I want…

What to do?

What about doing nothing and be myself.

Being myself is very appealing but it requires a great deal of self confidence. It means being oblivious to people’s judgment. That is a journey in itself but what if, despite my wonderful personality, I wish I would not have those little unsavory reactions with my friend, say? What if I would not put myself in situations that I regret afterwards? What if, at times, I would allow making myself happy? How to do that without making some changes? Would I be myself then? The world is pulling me in so many directions and the only thing I want is being happy. What does it all mean anyway? I am a helpful person. I always loved to give my time, resources and energy to my friends and family. I even have people I hardly know come to me for help. It’s wonderful. Yet, at the same time, I am often disappointed and I rarely have time for myself. I have been told to learn saying “no”. But if I do, I will not be myself any longer. I have tried anyway and it is so difficult. Each situation is different and I have involved myself yet another time without realizing it.

I could probably start by giving myself some time, take a couple of hours to think, wait the next day to give a final answer. The problem is that most of the time I can help. So, I feel like a cheat when I think of excuses. Yet, some of my friends do not really give me excuses when they are not available and I do not feel offended. How about just saying: “I understand but I cannot help”. It does sound pretty rough! Of course, it is the first time, pretty uncomfortable if you ask me.

Maybe it is uncomfortable for me only. I may very well project my bit of anxiety onto others. If I repeat the experience, the next time will be easier. I could even choose when to say “no” and continue to be myself without losing myself. It would be much more fun!

I am now saying “no”. I have lost a few acquaintances but I have a lot more time with my good friends. I still feel a little weird, though, because the change I have made sounds pretty negative. But what if in saying “no”, I allow myself more freedom as to what others expect from me? In fact, I am saying “yes” to more independence, more significant commitment to what I really want to do. I am saying “yes” to being myself and I have said “yes” to what really was scaring me so bad before: saying “no”! As my good friend is saying “yes” doesn’t mean saying “yes” to everything that comes along your path. It does mean saying “yes’ to the things that scare you, the things that will make you a better person, push you beyond who you are today”.

The beauty of being in line with our intentions is beyond personal rewards. It is the quintessence of self-confidence versus arrogance. Enjoy the experience!