Anger management training is of utmost importance when tempers flare out too often, when school suspensions jeopardize the academic success of our children, when verbal and/or physical aggression intrudes our daily life, or when death replaces dialogue.
Controlling anger is a huge step toward conflict resolution. It allows us to maintain the road to open communications. Resolving differences through dialogue will go a long way to model appropriate behaviors, to keep a household together, to de-escalate teens’ issues, or to lead employees to improved performance.
Conflict resolution techniques can save lives. The question is: “Do we want to calm down, listen, and dialogue for solutions?” “Do we want to give up some of the control for the sake of peace and harmony?” It is not easy to “Live Positive” on a daily basis, especially when stressed out, broke, sick, or tired… but we can do it.
Resolving a conflict requires choosing the right time and the appropriate location. You should avoid late night discussion and public places and try to block a period of time during which you will not be interrupted. You could consider a mediator as an objective third party if necessary. Then, you should explain clearly what the problem is by using “I” statements. “I” statements focus on you, your needs, wants and feelings. Using “I” statements help recognize the problem at hand and prevent the other party feeling blamed or criticized. Then, you must allow the other party to go through the same process. Finally, together you can identify solutions. Solutions must be Simple, Manageable, Action oriented, Realistic, and Time controlled. For better success write down your SMART solutions, commit to them and revisit them regularly.
Remember that emotions are expressed both verbally and physically. To ensure a solution oriented dialogue, use positive sentences and avoid any sarcastic and/or belittling statements or sounds. Keep your body quiet and avoid tapping your feet and nails or looking at your watch. Refrain from standing up or pointing fingers. Instead, project positive body language such as open hands, eye contact, and relaxed mouth. For more help, please don’t hesitate to contact professional services. And let us remember to “walk the talk” or dance if we can’t walk!
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Catherine Giraud, Ph.D., CC-AASP