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Letting Go

It was great to see how many of you enjoyed reading about ways of letting go of the past! Thank you.

So there is more to “letting go” than just establishing goals for the future, getting rid of old stuff and expressing our remorse. It also takes three more steps.

4-     Reset Your Story

Step back and allow yourself to reset your story with more exactitude, more honesty without the hurt, fear and loss that made you feel so rattled at the time of the break. See that with more empathetic eyes you will probably gain freedom and growth from a place of personal injury.

5-     Forgive

Is it possible? Only after your anger will not help any longer…when you anger becomes destructive rather than proactive, it is time to decide to forgive. Don’t forget to tell someone!

You may also need to forgive yourself at times. Well then, do it and change your behavior: don’t insult your husband, pay your fine, spend time with your child and apologize. Do something beyond repairing, offer to do something significant to show your remorse and on the advice of Dr. Sills remember that “good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.”

6-     Live The Present

Our strongest emotions bind us to the past and link us to the future bypassing the present. But we only live in the present, so let’s be mindful of what’s happening now. Let’s get involved and engaged into the present. Focusing on the now will free you from the past and prepare you for the future while giving some rest to all those hot emotions that are using so much of your energy!

Watch the butterfly and notice its designs and colors…you will have gained already few minutes of bliss…and as the “Love Guru” said you will walk from “NOwhere to NOWhere”.

Please comment or share your experience and remember to use kindness.

Letting Go

With the beginning of a new year comes often the desire to explore new avenues, change daily routine, establish new goals, move on from a past relationship and start fresh!

Easier said than done for all too often we forget to clean up and make some room for new behaviors. What prevent us to move forward? To get out of the rut, we need to rethink our position. It is not necessarily a matter of amputation but rather of alteration.

The difficult part is to go beyond the emotions that anchor us down: love, fear and rage. So the first step is to be aware of those feelings, accept them and question them. However, to move forward also requires proactive behaviors. According to psychologist Judith Sills, there are six actions that will help you. Let’s start with the first three.

1-    Look Ahead

Reminiscing, lamenting and regretting belong to the past which cannot be changed. Anchor yourself in the future. Start a new activity: an online class, a physical training, a professional goal. The trick is to focus on results! Sure, it is difficult to add to your schedule but the time and energy spent on thinking about the past will largely make up for it. Besides, your present will be positively busy and your future will look brighter

2-    Discard

Throw away the memorabilia, toss, donate, sell and make some room. Do not think twice even though you will go through pain and anxiety, anger and grief. Keep going and clean up! You will feel lighter and more available to opportunities.

3-    Deal With Your Remorse

Write a letter of apologies or reach out face to face in a three steps process: state clearly what you feel you did wrong, allow the other person to express personal feelings and accept to eventually be hurt by the answer and finally offer an authentic expression of remorse without expecting anything in return but the satisfaction to have put that plaguing part of your past to rest.

Feel free to post your comments and/or your experiences. Please, remember to be positive and supportive. Thank you.